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Can you just be a core 8? Or do you always have a wing?

This is so sad 😞 I was dating someone that at any moment and any time he thought it was ok to touched my breast or my private parts at any moment without me expecting it, it broke up our relationship I voice it he called me crazy 🤪 the end of the relationship

This is awesome thank you so much, I’m a therapist myself and I incorporate the new program and my work and I have noticed some people that have taken a test and came off as a two they seem to have more of the seven qualities and I always wondered why so this is a great way to pay more attention. By the way I am an eight with a seven wing hopefully a healthy eight and understand both perspectives, I will definitely share your videos! Mahastee 😊

I thought this was pretty interesting. I'm pretty sure at one point years ago I was solidly at level 7. But ironically that fueled the pursuit of some things that were very positive in the long run. And I think with time, life, family, kids, career, etc it's possible for 8's to "mellow". Also, life has a funny way of giving you a good kick now and then and humbling you. People often abuse that word (humble) - for example, a professional athlete will say they are "humbled" after signing a huge contract... yeah, BS. Or a politician "humbled" after winning an election... yeah, BS. But with time and experience some of that 8 invincibility can be "humbled" as life throws you curveballs. Which is maybe a good thing. And based on your description, I think I've gone from level 7 to probably level 2 over about 25 years. Definitely not 3 years or 5 years or anything like that... like wine or cheese it took awhile Could I get to a 1? Ehhhhh.... not sure about that. Maybe a bridge too far. And to be clear, I don't think that the unhealthy levels are necessarily unproductive... it's a double edged sword. Sometimes that level 6 or 7 or 8 is necessary. That "F the man" attitude at level 7 got me to where I am now. I wouldn't be at level 2 without having been at level 7.

17:21 "shiesty bastard"- 🤣... You're right! We have learned! 😂And what's even more funny is that we know you know we know you know.😅 (I'm a 9w1. Wife is a 6w7.)

the thing that trips me up is that im normally very slow and cautious with the way that i think and act. and i have a better than average stamina for tedious activities. but i still have that insatiable hunger for new things, and i often get bored of things after a few months of being absolutely obsessed. so im pretty sure im a 7, just a lil unique i guess? 🤷🏻

this has been really helpful as an ENTJ who sometimes scores as a 7 and sometimes an 8. but i still don't know which i am. makes me wonder if we can't all be comfortably crammed into one column.

Well now I am more confused I thought I was a 9w1 then a 7w6 now its like I am a bit of both. Im also an introvert and homebody and the whole 9 filtering around binge watching shows while playing games and reading things on my phone spot on like whaoo I was like dang it am I actually a 9. Then came the whole flat emotion thing na mate because I am expressive!!! I'm that kid who is squirming in her seat with excitment that is the place I like to be. I hate feeling flat it makes me feel unmotivated and just blah ya know what I mean. Not sure if I have presence. I dont think my presence is like boom here I am maybe I dunno. It's not like I am super high energy all the time I like me a good nap and worry I'll over extend myself. I have a bit of social anxiety so I can get insecure and shrink back when I'm feeling anxious but when I'm comfortable, excited to be there and happy I'm a goofy dancing monkey living in my own world just having a good old time. So not sure what that makes me maybe a 10w11 lol.

Makes life work for you

Detach vs passive aggression

Promoting others as 3

Manipulative giving for 2

I’ve had to learn how to be more like a 2 as a 3.

I’ve just stumbled across you newly and I am crushing on you. You seem to me very generous with your vulnerabilities in the pursuit of clarity and I hope you have not suffer any humiliation for exposing yourself as you have. You are courageous and beautiful. I hope you have had the life you deserve.

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A fourth, less discussed, response to trauma is called fawning, or people-pleasing. The fawn response is a coping mechanism in which individuals develop people-pleasing behaviors to avoid conflict, pacify their abusers, and create a sense of safety. So for 9s people pleasing could be a strong childhood trauma response.

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very nice

Gosh right off the bat, My husband is a 9 and I am a 4 . His lack of emotional range is so annoying to me…

“Looks like you dodged a bullet” (Silence) “I loved you so hard and it was broken so fast” (Silence) “I don’t think there is a time or space where you can hear me” (Silence) “You’re so mean. Why are you so angry?” (Silence) “I’m not sure you’re sane or stable” (after I reacted to the stonewalling) (Silence)

Thank you! This is really helpful!

I had a coach who is a 9w8. He was a natural counselor, subdued, and very supportive, gentle, and even kneeled. And yes, he once unleashed his anger when I accidentally betrayed his trust. Very passive aggressive also, and the whole time still listened to my opinions and feelings. Very complex guy, hard to understand. Because yes, he is good at placating, nodding and seeming agreeable but underneath, not really listening at all, he was just done! 8 wing also makes him rude, but again in a passive way, like stubbornly refusing to walk over and say hello. He would at the end of the day want peace and even when peeved, he would ask for a hug, just to sense everything at peace. Again, very hard to understand, and complex. Beyond grateful for him.

#7 (male 30). I thought I was a 5 for a long time. The stacks of books around my house. Multiple masters degrees. The mental burn for knowledge and interesting ideas. Everyone around thinking and saying I was a 5, bc of how much I knew. I didn't look like the manic or colorful stereotype #7s usually get. I didn't look like Robin Williams or Jim Carry. (I did look somewhat like a travel junkie or van lifers, or spiritual nomad) Really I was a put together, smart, basic color and jeans, quiet for the most part. (Also 7s and 5s are both fear based) But the lust for adventure and novelty. The strong pull to bright and good and lite things. Plus the massive difficulty sitting still with just one idea or worse staying indoors all day and not going out to a new restaurant or traveling somewhere new. My 5 friends don't have those pulls in them. Every 4-6 months I'm off mastering a totally new topic and dropping the old one. I'm constantly coming up with new ways to do things, new rules for games, new entrepreneurial ideas, new understandings on life and philosophy. I don't need to hold on to certain ones or defend the ones I have. They just come and go. Flow in and out. I was also much more of a social leader and catalyst than my 5s friends. Far far more restless. That massive inner anxiety thing drove me more than a love for knowledge, or identity protection behind books, knowledge, and degrees.

20:55 The competitive nature of the e3 usually comes from wanting to prove yourself to others, and so an INTP inf-Fe plus e3 makes little sense to me. E5s are also competitive, but in terms of wanting to prove something to themselves, so if he was trying to prove something right in an argument because he thinks this is the most logical and people saying the incorrect stuff is one thing and an e5 thing, which is different from wanting to prove to people that he knows more than them, which would be an e3 thing. I'm not sure if your brother-in-law is actually an INTP, but if he is this sounds very unhealthy, an INTP using a great amount of his inferior function

I don't know you outside of this one video and I'm not a mental health professional, either but you seem more like a turbulent ENFP because of the high amount of extraverted intuition tangents seeming very ADHD/OCD going all over the place while simultaneously trying to be structured. Plus you keep referring back to past experiences (Si) with great detail, something INFJ aren't known for being their demon function. Perhaps you're experiencing Si grip stress? Also, 6w7 is extremely common among highly neurotic ENFP.

She is not an INFJ.

Thany you, I thought I was defenitely a 7 but then i watched your video and i am pretty certain im a type 9

The Sp2 and So7 are probably the ones most confused as these are 2 and 7's respective countertypes. So, an Sp2 might look like a 7 countertype and So7 might look like a 2 countertype. JMO

So a 5 can be replaced by a robot or a download of the mental "grid" or logic of a 5.

So after all these years, I’ve rested on 8w9. My best friend at work is a 9w8. I notice when he merged with me and pretends to give in. I love him, but I’m trying to get him to stand up for himself more. I’ve made a lot of progress. The past and future do matter to me. Over time, though, I’ve learned to try taking each day like he does. He calms me down when I’m ready to kill. It’s funny when he thinks he’s about to kill someone. It’s funny. But I try to take it “somewhat” seriously.

The lines are way more blurry with 5w6 and 6w5 apparently

17:52 LMAOOOOO THE NINE IMPRESSION

12:14 this is just ocd, I don't think it has anything to do with enneagram

7:50 Would a five that uses Fe be less like that?

This definitely cleared it up for me. I’m a type 3. I can finally rest this hyper-fixation. I tied on tests for both 1 & 3. But this really has helped so much.

I think I am a 9 and I am ENFP, but I see myself in both wings to be honest. I remember being in a seven month long relationship where I didn't say anything, then one day I had enough and told them and then left. I am generally docile and calm and very nice, but I have my moments where I can be pretty angry and even harsh or scolding. But I see myself on both sides really.

Yep! The person doing this is an enneagram 9, with a 259 tritype. I’m a 4 with a 468 tritype, and it’s hard for me to deal with stonewalling.

These two numbers are polar opposites!

Doesn’t take self seriously

Sabotage

Entitlement of your job to take care of them

Most at L4

Lowest health - Mentally checked out

If you ask this question, you're 9w8.

12:30

At first I thought she was an 8. When she said she’s a 6, it makes sense. I wonder if she’s counter phobic 6.

“Sometimes life happens because it happens, it’s not about you”. I agree. I’m a 548 but I know a few 4’s 😂. They show their emotions with either body language or subtle face cues 😅. Most are very obvious. Ps: inadequate/ melancholy is the right word for a 5 😅.

Thank you for doing a video on this topic! It got me closer to figuring out my enneagram type. I’m still a little torn. But this helps that’s I’m not alone in the confusion between 2s and 7s!

I think I‘m probably a 9 but I‘ve more similarities with 5 here. I also considered 4, but in that comparison video I was obviously on the 9 side. I‘m less people oriented than other 9s, probably Sp dominant but not an INTP, I rather consider INFP.